A word or two realm

All articles of this personal website, welcome to reprint. Looking for ways to promote mental health promotion and cooperation, contact info


All articles of this personal website, welcome to reprint. Looking for ways to promote mental health promotion and cooperation, contact information lihuipu@gmail.com

A word or two in the visible realm. Compare the following two scenarios -

The husband on a business trip for a month to come back tomorrow morning, his wife was filled with joy, careful cooking room, ready to meet.

Scene one:

The husband phoned to say: "I didn't bring my ID card, you need seven tomorrow morning to the courtyard door to pick me up."

Wife: you can try not to come in and out of the entrance, I went to the courtyard to go for a long time."

Husband: "you have no sincerity. I don't want you to come back."

Wife: "you try not to use the card? Never consider others, only their own convenience."


Situation two:

The husband called and said, "honey, I really want to see you early. I didn't bring my pass to the gate of the yard that morning not to enter, how to do?"

The wife said happily: "it's easy, I will pick you out. I want to see you too soon."

Scene one, the husband made a request directly, tone stiff, his wife felt her husband was ordered to pick up. "You want me to pick up, not I'm going to pick up," the two feelings are very different, because we do not like being asked or ordered to do something. So, the wife felt reluctant to pick up. Next, the husband refused to respond to his wife's response is accused of giving his wife a "insincere" hat to exert pressure. The accused often make the other side offensive, and began to blame each other, deadlock.

Scene two, the husband is used to ask tone, ask his wife how to do. Of course, the wife will take the initiative to pick up, and because his wife felt I was going to pick up, so the outcome is happy and smooth.

The phrase difference effect of heaven and earth. However, the scene of a husband why would like to mention the requirements, the scene two husband and why is it different?

In our life, we will meet a lot of people like the one in the scene or two in the scene.

A scene in a husband spoke directly reflects the linear characteristics of the way of thinking, on the other hand he did not reflect some sense of habit: when dealing with people self-centered, not to understand the feelings of others. Many young people, men, especially in science and engineering, it is easy to look like this. They may be sincere and kind heart, character no problem, but often inadvertently offended, or hurt the family and friends. As a result, they often feel distressed and out of tune with their surroundings. In short, they are not mature enough".

While in scenario two husband was a man of humility is more compliant. He asked for an inquiry rather than an order of tone, reflecting a consistent respect for the wishes of others. The more you use the tone, respect for each other's wishes, the easier it is to achieve the purpose; on the contrary, the other party was willing to go, you ordered her to go, she did not want to go. The path of nature is rarely linear, and it is true that haste makes waste.

A scene in the husbands, particularly when not smooth unhappy, the need to constantly reflect on their own, will gradually mature access.

They may think: "people should be straight, what to say." On this point, there is a very interesting - "moral" said, "no generous corner". We know that the square has become a big circle, is not enough to open the realm of people, the square will become a circle it?



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